A few years ago, my youngest son and I were talking about life. Eventually we got into memories from the past. First the good ones, and then a few bad ones.
Thinking he would talk about his friends, I asked him how he got through those dark times.
He told me that to clear the negative memories from the past, he simply took a deep dive straight into them. Avoiding the bad feelings, he felt, kept them around in his head too long. He purposely dives into the abyss.
Wise counsel from a then-23-year old! I am so proud of that kid.
The following morning I decided to take my son’s advice and do a deep dive into my mind. The very idea of purposely diving into the dark corners of my consciousness was intriguing to me. I decided that it was long past time to throw out the baggage from my youth.
I settled into my favorite chair, closed my eyes, and purposely let my mind wander to the dark corners I had been avoiding for years.
As I sat there, tears started rolling down my face. Horrible old memories I had purposely forgotten flooded my mind.
I remembered being bullied in grammar school.
I remembered the time I almost committed suicide when I was in the eighth grade.
I remembered my parent’s money struggles. I learned the hard way that just because your parents struggled, doesn’t mean you are condemned to do the same. Generational money issues can be cleared if you face them head on and decide on a new path.
I remembered my mother dying of breast cancer, and a few years later my father from a heart attack.
I remembered getting Stage 3 breast cancer in 2012. What a journey that was! 10 operations, chemotherapy, radiation… the works. I’m still here though and proud of it.
The memories hurt, but I continued to allow them to rise to the surface and did nothing to stop them.
Honestly, it was horrible. I hated it. Yet I knew that to clear the darkness I had to take a deep dive into it and allow the memories to come up and out so I could forgive them. It took all day and ended with me crying in my husband’s arms. Not just little tears mind you, but loud, obnoxious, red-face crying.
The following morning I felt better. Lighter somehow. Like my body had been given a spring cleaning. The fact that Ron bought me a beautiful bouquet of red roses didn’t hurt either!
Here’s what I learned from my deep dive…
When you are having issues with something, take some time to face it. One day to take a deep dive into your emotions and get it all out. Cry, yell, scream, eat, whatever you need to do. Face it head on. Allow the memories to come up. Remember them so you can clear them once and for all.
Now find a chair and place it so that you are facing the door. Any doorway you can walk through to another room or outside. Not a closet that has no exit.
Imagine ALL the memories you just brought up are in the room with you swirling around your body.
Take a deep cleansing breath.
Now forgive yourself, and then forgive the people behind the memories.
Might take a few minutes to do but stay with it. In fact, you might even have to do it more than once for a few of them!
Now I want you to physically get up out of that chair and leave the room. The memories are now behind you. You walked away from them. It is now time to live.
There are three truths when a storm hits.
First, when the rain stops the sun always comes out.
Second, the sky is still blue above the clouds. So hang in there. Your blue sky is there. You just can’t see it right now.
Third, there is always someone you can reach out to. They will help you find your blue sky again. If not a friend or family member, then there are some fantastic organizations around the world that are there to help you 24/7. Reach out! You are not alone. I promise.
You are a beautiful soul with a shining light. Your life has purpose! You might not believe it right now, but it does. Perhaps you’re here to help us create a new world!
Where do you go from here?
Forward is a good direction. One foot in front of the other.
Trust your heart and that little bird that sits on your shoulder. It knows the direction you should go. I trust mine and it brought me here to you. Take this golden moment of time and walk in a bright new direction with me.
You got this!
Katharine
About the Author: To read more about Katharine, please click here
