Expecting This?
The date had been secured, airline tickets bought, plans were made. Specific plans made by me alone. I had visions of how this trip would evolve – the deeper relationship with my travel buddy!
And I shared my visions with my walking buddy weeks before the trip.
She knew me and my traveling partner. Listening carefully, she began questioning my specific plans.
How could I anticipate the outcomes of this trip? And wasn’t I being a bit unrealistic? Wasn’t I creating a vision based on a fantasy? Then she said the words that have burned a hole in my brain for years:
“Lower Your Expectations.”
At first, the words crushed my spirit, my vision, my hope for how the trip would mend and improve the relationship with my travel partner. Then I wondered if my walking buddy was right. Lowering my expectations would mean opening my hope for even more.
Dutifully, I began the process. Instead of believing the trip would forge a deeper relationship, I stepped back. My new expectation was to enjoy the entire trip.
“Lower Your Expectations,” she repeated.
Got it. Now my plan was to have deeper conversations with my travel buddy.
“Lower Your Expectations,” she sighed.
Wow. This trip is not going to be what I expected. How about we will enjoy one another’s company?
“Lower Your Expectations,” she was getting a bit irritated by now.
Thinking long and hard, I finally tendered a suggestion that we would enjoy one meal together.
“That might work,” was the most encouragement I received. And she was right. I looked forward to the one meal which my travel buddy and I enjoyed. It happened! And not much more. And the trip was wonderful because I lowered my expectations – of my travel buddy and of me!
As it turned out, lowering my expectation of my travel buddy brought me back to my original plan to enjoy the entire trip!
Now I remind myself to check on my expectations to see if they are realistic, if they are based on me or others, and decide what I can and cannot control. Life has become more livable – which is exactly what I expected!
Katie
